Tag Archives: loneliness

Loneliness

It is just that some of us get pathetically lonely.. On weird times of the day..

And surprisingly these are those people who seem to be very social, extroverts. You’ll find them being friendly with everyone. All categories of people love them. They are always with people.. Smiling and shining, it’s so easy to spot them in the middle of the crowd..

Awfully difficult to understand what they feel because chances are, when they’re truly sad, they disappear. You can’t find them anywhere and you might as well presume that they must be somewhere, happy-go-lucky as they are, laughing and giggling. Seldom is someone so happy always.

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What tears them apart is how a person who could at one point of time be the tinkle of everyone’s eye and at another be so brutally sad and beaten up by the darkness of their own shadow. Something that they, themselves fail to understand or possibly are reluctant to find out.

Knowing all the answers scares me more than anything does. I’m terrified of losing this grip, a thread that binds us to life. And loneliness sometimes is necessary, at other times fatal. All I know is that I’ll fight. I’ll stay and I will make a difference.

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The Girl In Red Heels VIII

She sat on the front seat as i drove swiftly through the mild traffic. Sundays have always been my favorite day out, specially afternoons.. She looked so normal as if nothing had happened at all. We see a lot of people, meet a lot of them but we never know what is going on with them , what they are going through and when the darkest moment of their lives shall come when they might want to give up on the gift of life.

Tatiana was lucky that someone found her, i found her. Not everyone is. I was lost in the maze of my own thoughts when she finally broke the silence.

“Ummm.. I forgot your name”

“Zeeshan” Darn you!

“Hehe. So what do you do Zeeshan?”

“I work as a bank manager.”

“That’s cool! I don’t work at all”

“But you had once told me you work for your father!”

“I was fired”

“Did you just say you got fired from your father’s office”

“Yes. Actually my mom feels I am misleading the company’s goals and i am not someone from the 21st century so. I was fired”

“Why would your mom feel that way?”

“That is how step moms are, they can feel whatever they want. They make up things you know!”

“Well that’s crazy. ”

“It is indeed.”

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The Girl In Red Heels VI

I woke up in a thud my brain had gone in the panic mode. My panic was nothing when compared to hers. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot, her fair face was pale and the beautiful lady-like girl was panicky, scared and in the defense mode.

I tried to explain things but she didn’t want to listen. She couldn’t, her brain wasn’t working and i didn’t want my neighbors to barge into the apartment as if there was an assault.

“Stop! ” , dramatic as it sounds, it was. A 3 second long ‘stop’ actually made her stop and she looked dead into me. Now this was just too much for an introvert like me. Never, never in my whole life had i imagined this day would come. I knew she needed empathy and not yelling.

“Listen.” I said in the most sweet and serious tone i could, “First of all, sit here” I pointed towards the couch. I went into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water. I handed it to her, she took it happily, she was indeed thirsty.

I knelled as i watched her drink water in quick gulps. “Tatiana” she lifted her face and looked at me. It wasn’t that she was expressionless, there was something that was written all over her face, agony, maybe.

“Do you remember what happened last night?” I asked gently not breaking eye contact. She lifted her gaze from the glass and look at me. Her eyes stung immediately with fresh tears, it was the first time i saw tears in her eyes.

“I remember I saw you at the beach” she struggled to speak, clearing her throat

“A lot happened after that.”

“I see this bandage” she looked at her wrist. “You took me to the hospital?” She asked plainly

“I did” I sighed

“Why?” the expression on her face got tense. It didn’t scare me, i was pissed off.

“You really need an answer for that. Don’t you get it? What answer are you expecting from me? Ridiculous! ” my face fierce and red with irritation, i looked away.

There was an awkward silence for sometime. I didn’t move nor did she. After moments of discomfort she said.

“I’m sorry.”

Damn she looked like the most innocent kid confessing a mistake. Don’t do this shit to me girl! I couldn’t resist smiling.

“Can we go out for lunch?” she asked.

“Of course!” I laughed. She couldn’t be more cute.

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The Song

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Sing her the song that her heart yearns
Teach her the notes her mind learns
Dark in the night when the city sleeps
The daughter of the knight in the corner weeps

Sing her the song that her heart yearns
Tell her stories of flowers and ferns
Deep in sleep when everyone will be gone
Sing her your heart till the beginning of the dawn

Sing her the song that her heart yearns
In the busy hours when the city runs
Hold her hand like the world has stopped
Get in her like her heart is robbed