Category Archives: When Love Happens

The Girl In Red Heels – XIV

Falling in love with someone who loves you? It isn’t the end, it’s the beginning. I had seen a different phase of life, a different face of the world in days i had spent with her working on her goals with her. I found her attractive, not in the way we see stories of women on Tumblr. Of cute little girls with beautiful curls and picturesque backgrounds.

My girl is different. She sings her favorite songs on the radio out loud, some of them she sings very well. She can spend the whole day cleaning the house and the next day messing it back to square one. She laughs hard, loves harder. She has infinite compassion filled in her and i feel that is what keeps her on track. The more i fall for her, the more she inspires me.

What makes her feel happy? Surprises. If she’s expecting me to give her roses, okay cool she’ll like them. But if some day i buy roses on the way while we have planned dinner together. The expression on her face is, is the expression we want to see on everyone we love. The moment you feel that they can feel your love for them is the moment your relationship is going on the right track.

She is an uptown girl but it isn’t a costly affair. She doesn’t want me to buy shoes for her. She isn’t so much into shopping. She wants me to take her to new places, go on long drives, try new restaurants and cafes. That is what i want too. And that is the best part.

Picture perfect? No. I found myself going back to the state i was in. I would avoid meeting her too often, meeting anyone at all. Work i did, but it didn’t really interest me. I had everything. A loving partner, a happy family, a friendly workplace. Something was killing me.

It isn’t that i didn’t love her. I did. I do. I will always. But it felt like i couldn’t face her, i couldn’t face myself. It made me feel sick in my heart. I wanted to give so much. I wanted to love. I wanted to feel her feeling it. But i couldn’t. As if i was under the clutches of my own self. A part of me that had always pulled me down.

It went on for days, months. We would meet twice a week, hesitant as i was i would try to run away as soon as i can. This got later reduced to one and then i hadn’t met her for two weeks. She was very patient with me, this killed me even more.

One night i returned from office at around 11.30. I was tired. That had been the strategy, to work so hard that you finally fall asleep. As i reached the door of my apartment, i felt strange. As i held the handle so i could insert the key, to my surprise the door was open. I opened the door only to find Tatiana sitting on the sofa with her legs crossed. She wasn’t smiling. I was anticipating a slap but she’s too kind for that.

“Did you eat?” She asked plainly.

“Yeah. ” I said, trying to read her face.

“Hmmm.”

“You?”

“I had dinner with dad”

“Cool”

I went into the bedroom. I desperately needed a shower. I noticed that she had done a hell lot of cleaning. My wrecked cave was looking like an apartment after months. I quickly showered and changed into my tracks and tee.

“I’ll sleep in the front room, you could use the bed room” I smiled. If you smile unwillingly you look like a creep!

” We could talk for sometime and then sleep” She said softly but i knew it was a demand.

“Actually i am tired..”

” Is there a place i could hide the dead body because if you are daring to argue, i am willing to kill you” She was furious. Shut up and go to the bedroom you ass.

I sat on the bed resting my back against the wall, she sat next to. It was crazy who she deals with things. She said nothing, just put her arm around mine and held my hand. We sat there in midst of the dim yellow lamp light and the hums of the air conditioner. Even when i couldn’t see her face, i felt her happiness. Her presence calmed me down but at the same time there was a hurricane inside ready to explode. It had been 20 minutes and i started feeling uncomfortable. She sensed it. But she didn’t say anything.

She rolled over and hugged me. She wrapped her legs around me, her arms around neck and finally broke the silence.

“What is it?” she said in a whisper.

I struggled to speak but there was a lump in my throat. What could i tell her when i myself am unaware of this misery that has killed me all my life. She withdrew to look at my face. One hand in my hair, her palm on my cheek. She looked into my eyes and i broke down.

I cried loudly. I am afraid i scared her. It wasn’t under my control. I sobbed, inhaled and sobbed again. She pulled me closer, her chin on my head as i endlessly sobbed.

I had lost track of time. I looked at her face through teary eyes. She wiped my tears. It felt like she understood that i had no clue what was happening to me. But you know what the best part is? Her faith in our relationship, her trust in me. Had it been anybody else, insecurities would have easily crept in. She trusted me, which made me stronger.

I didn’t have to say anything but it was that moment i felt her love the most. This was the best thing that had ever happened to me. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

As we melted into a kiss which was more divine than earthly, it was the first time i felt i could come out of whatever this was. It was the first time i felt that i will defeat the demons inside me. Demons that push me back and pull me down.

Love isn’t about the color of her lipstick or the number of abs on your body. It is being someone’s strength when you are yourself broken, it is showing someone the way when you are blinded. It is the reason we win and the reason we lose. And if your love inspires you to win the battle of life, understands things in you which you are unaware of, and holds your hand through every phase you go through, it indeed is love.

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The Girl In Red Heels XIII

She was inside the board room.. I waited outside in the basement.. I was sweating profusely.. All the air conditioning in the world wasn’t enough. I had spent the whole Sunday working at home so that I could take a leave today. My thoughts were like a whirlwind in my head.. From the nervousness of the presentation to the unexpected encounter we had that Saturday night. I couldn’t just stop thinking about it. She is my friend. I have helped her all this while. I don’t want her to feel that I’m trying to get something out of this. “No”
The receptionist looked daggers at me.

An hour had passed. Where is she? Is there something wrong? All of a sudden there was a thud, the door opened.

“Tatiana!” She looked devastated, her cheek red, she had certainly cried. She didn’t utter a word. She kept walking until she collapsed on her red heels and I had to hold her.
“Baby?” And the moment I looked into her eyes she sobbed, she let out a loud howl I’ll never ever forget. My mind was running nuts. Nothing worked?

“Tatiana?”

“We’ve done it Zee! We’ve done it”

And I took her into a warm embrace. There were people ogling at us but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. We had won. She had got it. 

We got back home. She went to her apartment, I came to mine. We said our goodbyes. She was gone now. She took all the passion, all the enthusiasm away with her. Now what? Detachment. Detached from everything as I always was. Well.. It’s okay.. It was worth all the trouble. I had learnt a lot. I had a good time. I helped someone get what they want. That is what mattered.

At evening I went to the beach. Only the sea absorbs my feelings. These weird wandering feelings. The fact is that she had not left me thirsty or wanting for something. No it wasn’t that. Although it had been just six hours and I already missed her.

It was 8pm on a Monday evening. Hardly some crowd around. I removed my sandals as I walked. Ahh the sand felt like heaven under my feet..

“Well you dawned on me , you bet I felt it”I sang, my favourite song
“I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted, I felt right through the cracks and I’m trying to get back. Before the cool dawn run out I’d be giving it my bestest. Nothing’s gonna stop us but divine intervention. Ouch!!!!!!” Something had struck my leg! Hurts hurts hurts real bad!
THE RED HEEL! I felt dizzy. My phone rang.
“Hello” I said suppressing the ache
“Am I speaking to Mr. Zeeshan?”
“Yes” I wasn’t in any mood for any conversation
“You are a complete asshole. ”
“What!”
I looked up only to see Tatiana in front of me, smiling with one heel in her hand.
“Damn you” picking up the heel

We walked for almost half a kilometer in complete silence.
” I can’t . I can’t think of life without you. No I don’t feel like there are butterflies in my stomach. In fact I hate butterflies. Nobody plays the violin when you’re around and I don’t feel any fire burning stomach burning whatever! But yes I do feel I’m complete with you! That you could make me a better person! That I could love you from my soul needing, needing nothing in return. Only your happiness. I want to kiss every wound you ever had, look at every scar and tell you how beautiful it is and.. And let your strengths give me strength. ” I had said everything in a breath

What did I do! What the hell did I do!

She looked.. Blank.. Damn I felt I had screwed it wasn’t in my control anyway.
“I don’t like butterflies too!” She said and pulled into the best hug one could ever have. There was never a distance between our hearts. She always understood me, I was always there for her. Now there was no distance between our bodies. I felt her warm cheek against mine. She was happy. I was the happiest man alive.

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The Girl In Red Heels XII

My life had changed. Ever since i saw those red heels. I looked at this girl, my life had changed and i knew it was never gonna be the same.

Tatiana had a million problems but you know what’s unbeatable? The fact that she was capable of dealing with everything. Not only her academic excellence but also her ability to practically deal with risks posed by the market was precise and up-to-date. The girl had left me spell bound.

Every evening we would meet over coffee and discuss strategic plans. Every weekend we worked on presentations and ideas. The girl might have the elegance of Queen Elizabeth but Highness has the tongue of a nasty truck driver, her abuses can certainly take you to a state of shock.

Tatiana Singhal, the only heiress for the Singhal Group of Industries, daughter of the one and only Mahesh Singhal had unfortunately lost her mother at the age of five, her father being her world. She would often visit his office and was familiar with how the company works since a very young age. Mr. Singhal was not only proud but also grateful to have Tatiana in his life. As time passed Mr. Singhal would often feel lonely and found love again after twenty years of his wife’s demise in Priya Mehra who is an entrepreneur herself. Ever since Mrs. Mehra became a part of the family things changed. Mr Singhal believed that Priya would be a mother, would love Tatiana more than he ever could. All this to his disappointment she crept into the family and made Mr. Singhal believe that Tatiana’s social ideas were not only futile with respect to the company but also harmful. On the other hand Tatiana often looked at the company as her offspring and had nursed her in the very same way. Mr. Singhal after weeks of instigation asked Tatiana to stay back at home saying that ‘There isn’t any need for you to work, love. Why am i here? ‘

Hence, Tatiana had to prove herself. She needed no one. Nobody could stop her but herself. Days passed and so did months. I had something to look forward to. Her ambition had become mine, passion is a very contagious things. Some Saturday nights we would often stay up all night.

After a year and a half, we had finally some place to stand. We had studied the company’s previous records, customer feed backs, feed backs from manufacturing units and distributors and retailers. We also studied the state of the market and the changes in the same. Finally we had the report, we had the god damn report in our hand.

It was 1.01. Yes it was on a Saturday night when she finally copied the presentation carefully into her CD. There was a moment of silence. We had worked hard for it. Day and night. Months. We never went out. Never roamed around. We were focused and today in the middle of the the night the task had been accomplished.

“Coffee?” She asked me, her eyes twinkled but you could see all the tiredness on her face.

“Sure I need it” I laughed.

She quickly went to the coffee machine to set it up. I flipped through the pages. My mind went back to when i had met her.. How much i learnt from her. What i learnt from her was impeccable. The girl who seemed all bold and ‘i will crush the world’ was so warm inside. She wanted to do business but she didn’t want to plunder. She wanted her customers to be happy. The most important thing is.. She wanted her employees to be happy, their children to be happy. She had taken this whole thing to a new level. Yes she was using her brain to execute what her heart wanted, happiness for everyone.

No she wasn’t sad or empty. She was full of compassion and enthusiasm. She can make a dead man work. No. She didn’t need a knight in shining armor on the white horse. She didn’t need to be saved. In fact she could save the knight himself!

“Here” she handed me the coffee mug and sat next to me. i took a quick sip.

“Ouch!!” I winced.

“Careful stupid! ” she laughed as she looked into my eyes. One moment, one moment it took. And there i was kissing her, tears rolled down her cheek, every moment i spent with her came back as i felt the warm drop of tear between our cheek. She kissed me back with everything she had. We were tired we were exhausted but we were lost in the moment. All of a sudden i realized what was happening. I pulled back.

“I think we need to sleep” Tatiana said looking away

“Yeah I’ll sleep here on the couch” i said.

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The Girl In Red Heels XI

We sat facing each other on the coffee table in my apartment. As i gave her a mug, the dark brown coffee table, the white mug and her blood red nail paint, one hand curled around the mug and the other softly tapping the table, she wasn’t at peace.

” Now what.. ” she said softly, lowering her lashes again

“Now we need to figure something out, you shouldn’t have done what you did”

“Don’t give me all this, you get it!!” She started with aggression and as her voice became brittle, fresh tears came into her eyes.

What did I just do! Kill me!!! I felt goosebumps. She was hurt. Impulsive as it was, I instantly went next her and sat, her hands on mine. She was trying to blink her tears away.

“Tatiana!”

She raised her gaze at me and in a moment there she was in my arms as she sobbed harder than I had ever heard. Her cry was unforgettable, inconsolable. There she was at my shoulder weeping, and I couldn’t do anything. She didn’t mean anything to me. I didn’t know her at all. But the pain, the pain was familiar. Although I had never been through things at that moment I just knew, just knew what she was feeling. She melted in my arms and wept aa she was almost on my lap. I felt so helpless. Maybe she needs to cry and vent it out. It isn’t that she isn’t strong. But at this moment she was like a beautiful flower that someone had crush with their heel. She had not lost herself but she was in pain and the ones who had probably caused it were completely unaware of it.

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The Girl In Red Heels X

We ate silently. Every morsel that I ate almost ached in the throat. I knew this girl was in a lot of trouble and I felt helpless. At the same time I felt so grateful. I had lesser problems and my family was just perfect.

As we finished with lunch.

“I’ll pay”
“Don’t piss me off now”
“You’ve taken too much trouble for me”
“I’m your friend” ouch! Unwanted stuff!

She smiled. Oh my god!!!!! There is a certain pleasure in seeing sad people happy. Broken but beautiful and can certainly be mended.

She let me pay. We came out of the restaurant and sat in the car. I held the steering wheel. Now what? Where do we go ?

I looked at her. She gave me this blank face. Whenever I looked at her, I never felt any sympathy. It felt like I knew she is a fighter, that she has something in her, a flame that needs to be fanned. Her face never lied. She wasn’t hiding, she tried to run away.

“Let’s go home and have some coffee. Then we’ll decide what is to be done”

“Sounds fine to me.”

I smiled at her. It just felt like we were friends since a long time.

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The Girl In Red Heels IX

As we sat facing each other in my favorite restaurant, it felt like i knew her since a long long time. I felt friendship i had never felt before. Although my case was completely different, i had a very loving family since always, nothing was even close to her situation, i felt like i understood her and her pain. I didn’t want to sympathize, I wanted to give strength.

She ordered food like she was hungry since forever. After the waiter had gone she looked at me and smiled.

“I’ve got you a lot of trouble”

“You haven’t, you almost got yourself a lot of it. Thank goodness it didn’t happen that way”

“Thank you”

“Hahaha. I will not welcome. I don’t want to see that ever again”

She smiled faintly. I had to make conversation.

“So.. ”

“Well my dad is the founder of Singhania Group Of Industries”

“Ah huh”

“We have various branches and we employ over five thousand people. My father and my mother worked really hard to make it what it became. She passed away when I was born. For years me and dad were together until he got married to this woman who turned the tides against me. I had been fighting for my place and principles. My goal was that every employee must be satisfied and only then shall we able to satisfy our audiences. We did a lot of charity and fund raising too. But now that’s all gone”

“But why? Were you in loss?”

“No. She thinks it’s a waste of time and energy to invest into such things. She chucked me out of the house. She says it’s important for independence. I am independent, i have my own ideas and earn my share. She just wanted my dad and i to be on different ways it feels.”

“This is awful” We got soup on the table. She drank with great delight. I could see her face lighten up with every sip.

“And you thought ending your life would end your misery?”

“You have no clue about my misery” She said as she licked her last sip. I was dumbstruck.

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The Girl In Red Heels VIII

She sat on the front seat as i drove swiftly through the mild traffic. Sundays have always been my favorite day out, specially afternoons.. She looked so normal as if nothing had happened at all. We see a lot of people, meet a lot of them but we never know what is going on with them , what they are going through and when the darkest moment of their lives shall come when they might want to give up on the gift of life.

Tatiana was lucky that someone found her, i found her. Not everyone is. I was lost in the maze of my own thoughts when she finally broke the silence.

“Ummm.. I forgot your name”

“Zeeshan” Darn you!

“Hehe. So what do you do Zeeshan?”

“I work as a bank manager.”

“That’s cool! I don’t work at all”

“But you had once told me you work for your father!”

“I was fired”

“Did you just say you got fired from your father’s office”

“Yes. Actually my mom feels I am misleading the company’s goals and i am not someone from the 21st century so. I was fired”

“Why would your mom feel that way?”

“That is how step moms are, they can feel whatever they want. They make up things you know!”

“Well that’s crazy. ”

“It is indeed.”

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The Girl In Red Heels VII

I showed her the bathroom and gave her a T-shirt to wear. The bathroom was a mess so I hurriedly removed things which weren’t supposed to be there and let her in. She took a bath and washed her clothes. The girl was tired, of what happened last night or of life, I wonder.

The eyes were misty and sad, she was trying hard to smile. Trying to smile in itself is a good sign I believe. Her bag which she had refused to leave throughout the mellow drama yesterday had a notebook, pens , a bottle of perfume and tissue papers. Of course make up. I saw her emptying the bag on the sofa as she quickly took something that looked like a pencil and underlined her eyes.

Seriously girl? You were almost dead yesterday and this now. Why? To fool the world. Nobody should ever know.

“There is a problem”

“Hmm?” Now what!

“I don’t have any foot wear.”

” Yeah.. I know. You leave your footwear at places to haunt them and hurt their feet. I get it.”

She laughed. Why is she laughing it wasn’t even funny! This girl is really upset.

“You can have my sandals”

She smiled. Damn I like her smile.

“Can I leave my bag here?” It was dirty, had bloodstains, sand and a lot on it, it had seen too much last night

“Sure! ”

“How and where?”

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“You needn’t worry, I’ll drive you.”

The Girl In Red Heels VI

I woke up in a thud my brain had gone in the panic mode. My panic was nothing when compared to hers. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot, her fair face was pale and the beautiful lady-like girl was panicky, scared and in the defense mode.

I tried to explain things but she didn’t want to listen. She couldn’t, her brain wasn’t working and i didn’t want my neighbors to barge into the apartment as if there was an assault.

“Stop! ” , dramatic as it sounds, it was. A 3 second long ‘stop’ actually made her stop and she looked dead into me. Now this was just too much for an introvert like me. Never, never in my whole life had i imagined this day would come. I knew she needed empathy and not yelling.

“Listen.” I said in the most sweet and serious tone i could, “First of all, sit here” I pointed towards the couch. I went into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water. I handed it to her, she took it happily, she was indeed thirsty.

I knelled as i watched her drink water in quick gulps. “Tatiana” she lifted her face and looked at me. It wasn’t that she was expressionless, there was something that was written all over her face, agony, maybe.

“Do you remember what happened last night?” I asked gently not breaking eye contact. She lifted her gaze from the glass and look at me. Her eyes stung immediately with fresh tears, it was the first time i saw tears in her eyes.

“I remember I saw you at the beach” she struggled to speak, clearing her throat

“A lot happened after that.”

“I see this bandage” she looked at her wrist. “You took me to the hospital?” She asked plainly

“I did” I sighed

“Why?” the expression on her face got tense. It didn’t scare me, i was pissed off.

“You really need an answer for that. Don’t you get it? What answer are you expecting from me? Ridiculous! ” my face fierce and red with irritation, i looked away.

There was an awkward silence for sometime. I didn’t move nor did she. After moments of discomfort she said.

“I’m sorry.”

Damn she looked like the most innocent kid confessing a mistake. Don’t do this shit to me girl! I couldn’t resist smiling.

“Can we go out for lunch?” she asked.

“Of course!” I laughed. She couldn’t be more cute.

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The Girl In Red Heels V

“Damn!!!!!!!”  I screamed, my eyes almost popping out!

“Are you out of your mind?” I felt a rush of anguish, of fear, of pain, all at the same time. I always knew there was something which was bothering her, who knew i would see her again and in a state like this. “For heaven’s sake get up!”, i saw blood dripping which gave me shivers. Almost nauseate i pulled her up walked through the small gate

“Taxi!” I yelled.

We finally got cab. I had decided i’ll take her to the small nursing home which is near my apartment, it’d be easy and there won’t be any legal problems. It was  2 a.m. as the doctor dressed her slit hand and gave me a big lecture on how this could be a whole big mess and how he almost saved me from great trouble.. He said she could be taken home, the girl was so tired she couldn’t open her eyes. By the time i took her out of the nursing home she was almost sleeping. Finally i concluded i must take her home. I am inviting a lot of unnecessary trouble, I thought.

I took her to the apartment where i stay, the watchman looked at me with surprise and disbelief. As i took her to the lift and pressed the button I felt something that i had never felt before. For an extremely sensitive person like me this wasn’t anything less than an electric shock. What if the girl misunderstands me! What if i actually fall into unending trouble.. Anyway i couldn’t leave her alone.

As i reached the door of house she fainted, her back rested on the wall next to my door as i struggled to open the door. With a lot of difficulty i lifted her, dragged her, tried to make her walk and shifted her on my bed. She was more into sleep than unconscious. I had the Saturday of my lifetime. Sleep had isolated me, i was already in a mess i couldn’t figure out and now this. I don’t know when i fell asleep on the couch  but i woke up with the unpleasant shrill of a female voice.

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